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illumahottie:

Hey guys, hope your skin is clear and you get a text from someone you like real soon.



geekstep:

niggercakes:

hungarian:

say “oh my god look at the blood on her pants” in a crowded hall & the girls who turn around are the ones on their period

alright satan lets take it down a notch sweetie

Says tumblr user niggercakes




bostonianresolution:

Our soles are worn and damaged, but they run on. For the souls of 4.15.13

knightscrest:

my greatest dream is to swim in an ocean of orange soda. it is a fanta sea.



turkey-imported-from-maine:

firelorcl:

meladoodle:

i wanna be a reverse tooth fairy where i rob people and then scatter human teeth on their bed

a dentist

i dont know what your dentist is doing to you but i think you need to go to the police




mistresswhile:

The best thing I ever bought was a banana costume for my dog. Hands down. It shames her so I put it on when we expect new people to come to our house and it keeps her from being crazy. She just stands there.



succulentthighs:

Do you ever just like flex your foot wrong and it cramps and you’re just like this is it, this is how it ends 




ziamxwilson:

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lardypoison:

did I ever tell you I used to read the welsh version of harry potter as a kid

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"hogwarts’ fast train"

with such loveable characters as

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and of course who could forget the four houses

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and possibly the most dignified

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janecrocker:

janecrocker:

i will always laugh so fucking hard at the urbandictionary entry for “fo shizzle my nizzle”

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